The Day After My Bday

The day after my Bday

Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 1:58pm
Well how funny would it be if I said the day after my Bday changed my Life, or the life of mine too come?Since soooooo young i always fealt i didnt belong in this fast fast world, i found that money fast cars and status JUST didnt appeal too me :) i always saw humans before myself, any race andy age, i always found that i was that girl that ALWAYS heald the door open for EVERYONE then entered, i have always been the girl that would rather give my tips too the aunty in the back of the kitchen because thats where it belonged even if i didnt eat that day, I always fealt lost in songs, almost like a dream world, When i saw fancy clothes i would just say meh, its nice but im okay, i fealt happy in a 10 $ suit walking iinto a temple, I always fealt i belonged somewhere small, simple, just somewhere that basics mattered only, where there was no pride, no racsism, no status no comparing eachother, i never found myself at peace in this BIG CITY! I spent so much time trying to just marry myself off, thinking thats what i was meant to be, Just a wife :) i tryed that, and think i made my inlaws proud, actualy myself proud, yes i washed clothes by hand, and too some that may seem just STUPID, but too me i never for a second fealt in my heart that it was wrong or that i shouldnt, i was happy, those days passed and im happy they did, i learned so much, and missed a gap in my life, someone said i never grew up, but honestly if what i missed is GROWING up than id rather stay a child, These last few weeks ive done things i couldnt ever imagine doing, i appreciate all those momenst cus they brought me to the day after my BDAY,The day after my bday i woke up, In such a state of mind i cant even explain, silly of me too say but hey i found my calling, my true destiny that always tapped on my heart, I found myself happyer then ever, i found my religion too have FINALY come too and speak too me, i found my religion to forgive me, and show me where i belonged, The day after my bday i decided too be happy FOR ME!!! and i may seem like a Sikh fanatic but im not, im the furthest thing from a perefect sikh, but you know what???? I can live the rest of my life inside of a Gurdwara and know in my heart that I LIVED LIFE THE WAY I WANTED TOO!!! So the day after my bday showed me to be true to ME!!! I mean drinking and going out and indulging in this worlds pleasures is not wrong FOR YOU, but me, i find my happyness in other ways, maybe ill lose friends now maybe ill gain new ones, But lesson:Do what ur heart wants to do, please yourself otherwise youll never really be able too please yourself... Dont judge, dont have pride, dont get caught up in he said she said, or he has that and i only have this!!! Dont make ur goal too be a billionair make your goal in life the simplest one of FINDING YOU!!! and being one with god, after that i swear life will be all that u dreamed it too be :)Im ready too learn, im ready too be what i alwyas fealt in my heart too be, a simple peacful...Person.. Stripped of lifes fake glam :)Love Chellahttp://www.rajkaregakhalsa.net/ http://www.sikhee.com/ This hymn represents the war going on inside of us everyday with our emotions. We all have by nature, animal instincts and emotions but we also have something given to us by the Divine - a Soul. This is our saving grace and each day we try to balance lust, anger, attachment, greed, and egotism with more positive uses of our time and energy.Panna 265 of Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji:Sangeet Bhujang Prayaat ChhandSANGEET BHUJANG PRAYAAT STANZAKaagardang kaatee kataaree karaakangThe sounds of the blows of the daggers and swords are being heard.Taagardang teerang tuppkang taraakangThe sounds of the shafts and gunshots are being heard.Jhaagardang naagardang baagardang baajeVarious sounds of musical instruments are resounding.Gaagardang gaajee mahaan gajj gaaje35112The warriors are roaring and shouting loudly.35.112.Saagardang soorang kaagardang kopangThe great heroes have been struck.Paagardang paramang ranang paav ropang And the brave fighters are belching.36.113.Saagardang sastrang jhaagardang jhaarain36113The worriors seem pleased on shooting sharp arrows on the bodies. Baagardang beerang daagardang dakaareThere are loud shouts with porofound resoundings, and the poets describe them in their verses.37.114.Chaagardang chaupe bagardang beerang Maagardang maare tanang tichchh teerangThe demons are running away and the heroes are shouting loudly.Gaagardang gajje subajje sahoorain Kaagardang kavooyaan katthe kathoorain37114The demons are running away and the heroes are shouting loudly. Daagardang daano bhaagardang bhaaje Gaagardang gaajoo jaagardang gaajeThe sounds are produced by the striking axes and daggers.Chhaagardang chhauhee chhure pre chharaake Taagardang toorang tupkang taraake38115The arrows and the guns are creating their own noses.38.115.Gaagardang gomaay gajje gaheerang Saagardang sankhang naagardang napheerangThe loud noise of drums and the resounding of conches and trumpets is being heard in the battlefield.Baagardang baaje bajje beer khetang Naagardang naache su bhootang pretang39116The musical instruments of the warriors are being played and the ghosts and goblins are dancing.39.116.Taagardang tirang baagardang baanang Kaagardang kaatee kataaree kripaanangThe noises of the arrows and shafts, daggers and swords are being heard.Naagardang naadang baagardang baaje Saagardang soorang raagardang raaje40117The music of the musical instruments and the drumming of the trumpets resounds and the warriors and chieftains are doing their job amidst such resonance.40.117.Saagardang sankhang naagardang napheerang Gaagardang gomaay gajje gaheerangThe conches, clarionets and the drums resounded.Naagardang nagaare baagardang baaje Jaagardang jodhaa gaagardang gaaje41118The trumpets and musical instruments produced their sounds and alongwith their resonance, the warriors thundered.41.118